In my late twenties I sometimes fantasized about having something like a monastic order to join. Not a religious order; that would be ridiculous for someone like me. And not necessarily a group of the single gender, either. Just a group of adults would would agree to forswear both family life and romantic love in return for a common life of mutual friendship and support. Since I had aspirations of being a scholar at the time, I imagined this order having branches near university campuses, elegant buildings with areas for common meals and life and private rooms for scholarly reflection. Life in such an order wouldn’t exactly have been celibate — autoerotic activity by its members would be warmly celebrated. Sometimes I imagined that surgical sterilization would be a requirement for full membership. As its members proceeded into old age, they would be cared for by the order. And in place of a wedding band on the fourth finger of the left hand, members would wear an stainless steel ring a a token of membership.

I really did think about this. Sometimes a lot.